Thursday, October 4, 2007

Heartbreak


My heart is broken! I have been crushed to the core! And all by my son!!!

Let me explain. Isabelle had school this morning. Ian and I dropped her off and went to run a couple errands before returning home. We spent a little time together, ate lunch and got him ready for afternoon Kindergarten. It is nice to have a couple mornings a week to take Ian to school by myself. It is just nice and relaxing to take him in for his day, say our goodbyes and see him walk down the hall. He so loves school! On these days I have a minute to focus on JUST HIM!

So here is what happened...
As I walked him into school today, I instinctively reached my hand out to hold his. In most cases, he would have reached up to hold my hand without thinking twice about it. But today was different! Today, as I reached my hand out to find his, he told me, "It's okay, I can walk in by myself." It was said with such confidence and pride. Part of me wanted to cheer him on! He IS big enough to walk by himself. We weren't crossing any streets. We were only walking on a sidewalk. But, part of me was devastated. I know this is only the beginning. He is only going to become more dependant from here on out. Sometimes it just really gets me when I least expect it!

I am proud of you buddy! But I hope, for my sake, that you will hold my hand every once in a while. Because I can walk by myself, but I prefer to walk with you! I love you!

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